RAPPORT

Yesterday, Becky, my younger son David, and I were lounging on the beach by our Lake House. It was a sunny, breezy afternoon as we nestled in the shade of some overhanging trees and broke out our books. A gentleman of around 60 years of age set up his chair next to us and we said “hello”. Little did we know that was the last word we would be able to say. He began to talk… and talk… and talk. At first, we found what he had to say interesting, but after awhile we realized this was a one way conversation. Just as he began detailing how his power line crew used to dig holes he announced he was going in the water. He asked us to listen for his cell phone because he was hard of hearing and expecting a call from a lady friend. We thought we would have some quiet time but our new friend continued talking to us from his raft! Now we know that this gentleman was a bit lonely and meant no harm, but if he were selling our products, I would not have purchased any! Why? He had not established any rapport, he had not invested in the relationship by asking us any questions about ourselves.

Today, as Becky and I were traveling home we were listening to a presentation by a Christian businessman. Among other things, he talked about the concept of self awareness and realizing how we appear to others. If we are overly consumed with our own problems and past failures we will never see the need in others. He emphasized the importance of focusing on what others have to say and affirming their self worth. What we sometimes call connecting with others is often called establishing rapport. He offered this acronym on RAPPORT which I found helpful. Really All People Prefer Others Reflecting Themselves. Rapport is defined as a relationship characterized by harmony. What better way to get in synch with someone then by reflecting what they say or think as important. The Apostle Paul had this concept down when he wrote “I become all things to all people that I might win or influence some”

Now it is good to tell your story, whether 30 seconds, 60 seconds, or 3 minutes, because that is your personal testimony and what people remember and cannot deny. However, once we have told our story we need to get involved in their story. We must have a good enough self concept to not be threatened by others and accept them as being significant. In our business this is not optional, it is mandatory.

Brian Tracy said “Satisfy the deep subconscious needs of your customers - to feel important, to feel valued, respected and worthwhile.

Mike